


A Flicker of Brilliance

by deluxekyluxtrashcan (rhoen)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alliances, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Body Worship, Bottom Kylo Ren, Consent, Enemies to Lovers, Hate Sex, Hux can't hate anymore, Kissing, Light Angst, Lube, M/M, Neck Kissing, Not that it really matters - they just need to be close, Oral Sex, Post-Canon, Tenderness, Top Armitage Hux, Top Hux, Undressing, Vulnerability, failure - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-01
Updated: 2016-05-01
Packaged: 2018-06-05 14:14:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6707533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rhoen/pseuds/deluxekyluxtrashcan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the wake of the destruction of Starkiller Base, things start to change for both Kylo and Hux. Their futures are now uncertain, and the uneasy tolerance of each other that they shared has been altered too.</p><p>As they struggle to understand and maintain their place in the world they thought they knew, both men are forced to reevaluate more than just their loyalty to Snoke, and to the Order, and find it leads to something they never even thought an option.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Flicker of Brilliance

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nayanroo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nayanroo/gifts).



> I did my best with the prompt given, although I feel very much like I fall short. I can only apologise.
> 
> A huge thanks to KalessinAstarno for acting as beta and helping me through this whole thing, and without whom I don't think I would have been able to do this. I'd like to thank everyone else who gave me encouragement to keep going too, and who showed an interest in my stuff. I'm so incredibly grateful.
> 
> > **Do not translate or repost this fic without my permission.**. Ask if you'd like to translate it. Linking to it with a short snipped it okay though!

 

He’s in the dark.

He has been for a while, but now more than ever, Hux feels it.

Around him worlds keep turning, suns keep burning, and life goes on. He sees it happening, but is increasingly aware of just how far removed he is from everything. He desperately holds onto the threads of control and command still within his grasp, but can feel them slipping.

He is no longer in control.

The _Finalizer_ is still his, but his importance is diminished. His moment of glory is overshadowed by unforgivable failure, and the proudest moment of his life is darkened by the destruction of the weapon he’d commanded with a view to bringing the First Order to its rightful place in the galaxy. It wasn’t supposed to end like that. Years of sweat and toil birthed a mere flicker of brilliance - a moment of purity that should have lasted an eternity, but instead imploded in catastrophic failure that haunts Hux’s every waking moment. Even asleep he isn’t free of it, and the spectre of destruction follows him there, twisting sickeningly and poisoning what few dreams come to him. He feels it threatening to consume him, and the acrid corrosiveness eats away at his hardened edges, wearing him down and reforming him into what he always tried to tell himself he was content to be but never truly felt he was: a nameless pawn, a replaceable part in the perfectly calibrated machinery of the First Order that will one day extinguish all opposition and bring peace and order to the galaxy.

The promise he’d made to himself of his own place in that future seems more distant than ever, obscured by the darkness creeping in and threatening to consume him. He fights for breath as he feels himself falling back into nothingness; insignificant and unimportant where once he felt he held meaning. The chance for glory is fading, and as darkness claims him Hux feels his name fading too. He is merely a tool. That moment of brightness moves further and further from reach, leaving him simply a number in the dust.

The _Finalizer_ now moves as part of the larger fleet, headed by the newly finished _Harbinger_. Despite being the same class of star destroyer, the _Harbinger_ ’s superior weaponry singles it out, although Hux has no idea what kind of power it wields. He hears only rumours of the new destroyer’s capability, and fights to remove his fingernails from his palms every time he thinks about the datafile he tried to access which required a security clearance above his own.

He’s been relegated. It has happened in all but name: his ship removed from its position of importance, intel shifted outwith his reach, and resources redirected. Whenever he is addressed as ‘General’, it stings. It’s an empty title. Those sharp enough to understand what the _Finalizer_ ’s amalgamation with the larger fleet and Phasma’s disappearance means view Hux with a mixture of wariness, as if failure is somehow contagious and will mar them, and, worst of all, pity. Those who haven’t yet understood the gravity of Hux’s failure continue as normal, thinking that the changes - if they even register them - are part of a grander plan. They are, really; it’s just that they’re part of a grander plan Hux no longer has a future in.

-

For her part in the downfall of Starkiller Base, Phasma has been removed. Hux can only guess at her fate - whatever became of her is above his security clearance. His anger towards her is fierce, but he comes to realise that it’s not her failure that angers him so much as her absence. He misses her presence, and the familiarity of it. Pieces of his world are being stolen from him, and she was an integral part of the smooth running of things. He valued her highly, and Hux had never imagined a time in which she wouldn’t be by his side.

The one thing he’s been left with is the one thing he doesn’t want: Kylo Ren.

Hux had visited him the day after plucking the worthless man from the dying planet. He’d stood outside the intensive treatment room, watching Kylo’s unconscious figure through the open doorway he couldn’t bring himself to walk though. Even sedated Kylo seemed feverish and restless, and as Hux watched the man had seemed to start to rouse, his movements of distress becoming more and more pronounced, until a click and a soft hiss signalled another dose of anaesthetic being administered, and Kylo had fallen still and silent again.

He still won’t bother trying to evaluate the strong pull he’d felt. Something had urged him to step forwards and approach the unconscious man - to study the new wounds and the unexpected vulnerability - but he’d held back, reminding himself he didn’t even care enough to be there in the first place.

Kylo is the physical embodiment of failure, as far as Hux is concerned. He still tells himself that the dual kick he felt in his gut and his chest as he watched the other man lying there unconscious was disgust and contempt, and definitely had nothing to do with any other feelings he might harbour for Kylo because there _weren’t_ any other feelings, and never will be. The only things the two men have ever shared, aside from reluctant co-commandership of the _Finalizer_ , are deep-seated hatred and the occasional desire to vent their frustration on each other in the only form that seems agreeable enough and doesn’t involve the destruction of a huge portion of the ship: sex. It wasn’t even particularly good sex. Violent, abrupt and too hard-won, Hux only allowed it to happen more than once because it is better than the alternative.

Now though, he’s not so sure that would be the case. Even if Kylo were receptive, Hux doesn’t have the energy for such an exchange. Having been released from the medbay after four days, Kylo has retreated to his quarters. Hux doesn’t even know how to approach him. Twice he comes close, his hand almost reaching the control panel for the door to Kylo’s rooms, but both times he stops, unsure of what he’s doing. He walks away somewhat disorientated, struggling to remember why he went there in the first place.

He feels abandoned. All the constants in his life are gone. The only thing that remains is the _Finalizer_ humming softly beneath his feet, but even that feels false and fragile, as if it’s about to be snatched from him. The mask he wears is already shattered, and he desperately holds pieces of it to him, hoping they’ll be enough to disguise the pain and fear slowly consuming him.

-

When Kylo comes to him, it is nothing like Hux expects. The man is quiet and withdrawn, his exposed face bisected by an angry wound that seems so out of place. Around them on the bridge officers look on warily, following the movement of the unpredictable Knight with little subtlety. Given his absence, and the obvious lack of furious outbursts, Hux supposes many thought that Kylo too had been removed.

Kylo is trying to scowl, but the expression keeps slipping, laced with pain. The way his brow furrows disturbs the fresh wound, and there’s not enough masochism in the man for him to endure it. It strikes Hux that Kylo is diminished too. Perhaps it’s his pride that’s so badly wounded as to leave him a mere shadow of himself, or the shame of having his failure clearly visible. Whatever it is, Hux is sure he doesn’t care.

But still, he finds himself alone with the man. The excuse of tactical discussions precedes their retreat to the briefing room, and the moment the door has slid shut, Hux finds himself pressed bodily against it, his lips roughly crushed by Kylo’s as the other man fumbles with the control panel, locking the door.

The usual flare of anger is dampened. Hux searches desperately for it as he tears at Kylo’s clothes, but finds the well of blinding hatred empty. All that remains are a few flickers of resentment and bitterness, and he draws on them, desperately trying to amplify what he can find and feed his actions with it. What he finds, sickeningly, is that he’s driven by desperation, and he almost sobs in frustration, hating the emptiness within him that makes him so desperate for any lingering trace of normality.

He can’t think too closely on how easily he wins control. Kylo seems glad to surrender, and he tugs Hux’s uniform out of the way and bites down fiercely on Hux’s neck, seeming relieved when Hux’s reaction is to reverse their position and slam Kylo face first against the wall. The only fight they have is with the clothing in their way, and when Hux pushes into Kylo, thrusting deeply with one unforgiving snap of his hips, he holds himself there, revelling in the comforting familiarity of Kylo’s body. When he fucks him, though, he’s driven not by the usual hatred and frustration, but by an uncomfortable need to soothe the emptiness within him, and to win back what he’s lost.

He can’t find it in Kylo. Whatever it is that happens between them, Hux achieves release, but nothing else besides. Again, he holds himself still within Kylo, forehead against the base of Kylo’s spine as he tries to regain his breath and understand why the world keeps slipping further and further from him. The reluctance he feels at the idea of pulling away from Kylo makes no sense, so he forces himself to do it. He moves away and rights his clothing and his hair wordlessly, eyes downcast as he tries not to notice Kylo’s uncharacteristic docility. He leaves before the other man can collect himself, or say anything. He’s afraid of the conversation they might have.

Even before he leaves the room Hux knows that having sex with Kylo was a mistake, and the memory of it plays on his mind for the remainder of the day. It was strange and unsatisfying, and has left him with an ache in his chest he cannot dislodge, but despite that he wants to turn away from the mind-numbing reports he’s filing and seek Kylo out again.

But there is no real reason to do so, so he doesn’t.

 

* * *

 

Kylo can’t wake up. His senses tell him he’s conscious, and that the world around him is real, but he’s trapped in a nightmare he’s fears he’ll never escape.

He killed his own father. Han Solo died by his hand. And all the strength and power and glory that was promised to him for fulfilling that part of his destiny hasn’t come to pass. He’s still weak - weaker, even - and fighting to follow the path he knows he was born to walk. His body is slowed by drugs and plagued by aches from the fight against the traitor and the scavenger, and his mind still reels from what happened

Slowly, he’s starting to realise he will never wake up.

He tries to meditate, to find resolve and understanding, and to work out what he did wrong, but all that he finds is jarring white noise that unsettles and nauseates him. With deep focus he can see a little past it, but all that lies in the direction of Snoke is unspeakable darkness that threatens to consume Kylo, even from where he stands. It’s viscous, endless blackness that devours all, and, in truth, frightens Kylo. He cannot see strength in it, or comfort. It’s nothing like the Dark Side he knows. It’s not a path he wants to walk towards.

As soon as he pulls himself from meditation, he seeks out the only safe haven he knows he has left - or thought he had left. Hux is different, consumed by loss and failure, but Kylo goes to him anyway. There’s something Hux has which Kylo wants - or perhaps needs - but he cannot name. He lets Hux have him, and, on some level, feels whole again. The physical ache Hux leaves him with is grounding, and the ghost of his fingers on Kylo’s skin linger, comforting in their surety. In the hours that follow, part of Kylo feels at peace, and he follows Hux’s presence from afar, drawing comfort from it.

-

It doesn’t take much to realise that the world he knew has been torn apart. The _Finalizer_ occupies a reserve position amongst a larger fleet, pushed lower and lower in the ranks. The fact that he’s been left onboard is a humiliating sting, and is no doubt intended as part of his punishment. Snoke has need of him yet, Kylo is sure, but his Master is taking his time, letting Kylo know of his displeasure. He doesn’t even know where the fleet is headed towards, or what their goal is.

Hux doesn’t seem to know much either. Kylo can’t quite imagine what Hux’s fall from grace feels like. The man does his best to save face and keep going, but he’s floundering. He’s no more useful to the Supreme Leader than the next First Order crafted tool, and is struggling to come to terms with that. In the moments leading up to the firing of the weapon, Hux clearly felt he’d taken his rightful place in the First Order, and in history. The loss of something so long sought after has damaged the man almost irreparably. Kylo almost sympathises with him; they’ve both lost what they always thought would rightfully be theirs, and have since been discarded.

Kylo’s abandonment won’t last forever, though. When Snoke deems him ready, Kylo will have the chance to be lifted from disgrace. Hux, however, will slip further and further into nothingness until he is consumed by it. Kylo doesn’t suppose it matters much - Hux is just another Force-blind brat filled with a sense of self-entitlement because the blood of the old Empire flows through his veins, and there are thousands like him - but it feels like they share something more than the months of hatred and antagonistic confrontations that, satisfyingly, led to sex. Hux feels familiar to Kylo in a way that nothing else does. He’s what could perhaps even be called a comfort, and something Kylo doesn’t want to relinquish. He enjoys the constant.

Snoke always told him that attachment and sentiment were weaknesses, and would only lead to suffering. Hux, however, always made Kylo feel stronger. Their mutual hatred fueled Kylo, filling him with a burning passion and determination he relished. Even now, finding his own failure and struggle for survival reflected in the other man, Kylo doesn’t feel weakened by it. He feels grounded. He’s still sure he hates Hux - or would if he had the energy and focus to - but as everything else falls apart around him, he welcomes the familiarity of the general’s presence.

Which is no doubt why, when he returns to his meditation, Kylo feels himself being pulled towards the other man. A tenuous thread links them, but in the barren, overcast grey landscape of Kylo’s awareness it shimmers warmly. As he wanders through the nothingness searching for direction, that thread keeps him tethered. He cannot lose his way - when he feels lost, he simply follows that glimmer of light back to where he left his physical self.

-

He goes to Hux again. Like the last time, there are no angry words or actions, just emptiness and desperation, but Hux feels like a word Kylo hasn’t used since he was a child: home. It doesn’t matter if they want it or not, but there’s understanding there - at least on Kylo’s part. Hux still seems too caught up in trying to cling to what he once had, and he fucks Kylo roughly, unforgiving in the relentless pace he sets, but Kylo doesn’t mind. He welcomes it; he welcomes the connection to someone real and warm and very much alive against him.

When they finish, Kylo lets his hands stroke over Hux’s carefully styled hair, something within him shifting as he realises it’s the same colour as the thread that helped to ground him during his meditation. He doesn’t kiss Hux, but instead buries his face in the other man’s neck for a moment, breathing him in and treasuring the reality of his presence: his heated skin, the elevated pulse rate, and the way he smells. He can sense Hux’s conflict - Hux wants him gone, but also wants to see what will happen if he wraps his arms around Kylo and holds him in return.

Kylo makes the decision for him. Hux so desperately wants to hate him. In pulling away, Kylo allows Hux to remember that feeling for a moment, and he’s happy to see Hux’s expression cloud with annoyance.

What he hadn’t counted on was that flare of anger which leads Hux to chase after him, catching him in a bruising kiss that leaves him too stunned to react until it’s almost too late. His fingers tighten around Hux’s bicep just as Hux starts pulling away, and for several confusing moments they discover a new level of desperation. When Kylo eventually moves away, they’re both breathless and panting, and he can’t bring himself to look at Hux. He’s too ashamed of the fierce blush staining his ruined face, and too afraid that Hux really will hate him again.

He leaves the room feeling more lost than ever.

-

“We need to talk.”

Hux looks up at him warily. The shift in his mood at seeing Kylo is subtle, and he hides it well enough from everyone else around them, but Kylo cannot miss it. Hux is continually plagued by fear and uncertainty, but a new sense of dread settles over him at Kylo’s words. He is afraid. The end of the line is closer than ever: in the last cycle new troops have taken up residence on the _Finalizer_ , and it’s clear that Hux is general in title only. The new team - administrators rather than combatants - mean that channels of communication and the line of command are further convoluted, and directed away from Hux. The general has barely slept since finding out about the takeover two days ago - a rather sudden and unwelcome revelation.

Hux doesn’t even ask if it can wait. He turns to Lieutenant Mitaka, handing the bridge to him, and then starts leading the way towards the briefing room. Kylo reaches out, grasping at his wrist to stop him. The moment Hux turns, Kylo lets go.

“My quarters are more suitable.”

Whatever Hux might think of that, he keeps quiet, and answers with only a nod before turning away from the direction of the briefing room and leading the way from the bridge. The two men then make their way through the ship, silence heavy between them.

When the door to his quarters slides shut, sealing them in Kylo’s anteroom, Kylo lets his posture slip with a sigh, running his gloved hands through his hair as the moves into the reception room. There’s only one seat, but neither of them take it. When Kylo turns to face the general, he’s struck by how pale Hux looks in the low lighting of his chambers, and just how gaunt he has become.

“You’re leaving.”

It’s a statement of a fact, but is clearly news to Hux, who does a double take, disbelief and fear clouding his expression as an almost silent, horrified breath escapes his lips.

“What?”

“You didn’t know?”

Kylo is genuinely surprised, and watches carefully as Hux searches for words, his mouth hanging open, closing, and then opening again, but nothing comes to him. Finally, after several moments, he manages to push his voice out, little more than a hoarse whisper.

“When?”

He’s beyond trying to cling to the façade of control, and Kylo can clearly see the torment and sense of betrayal the other man feels. There’s little fight left in him: Hux doesn’t know how to face what is happening to him anymore.

“I... “ Kylo frowns for a moment, concentrating. At a distance, and unfamiliar with the person whose mind he is approaching, it takes several seconds to locate the answer. Thankfully, it turns out that it’s a matter currently under discussion, although Kylo doesn’t recognise any of the officers present in the lower briefing room.

“You’re moving on-world. During zeta shift.”

Hux draws breath audibly, what little colour was left in his pallid skin draining. Kylo feels a flicker of sympathy. Nothing done during the dead of night bodes well.

“You were coming to confront me about it?”

Kylo shakes his head minutely, his mind still distracted, trying to learn what more he can about what lies in store for Hux. The men discussing Hux’s fate don’t even address him by name or title - he’s simply ‘him’.

“No. I, well, I overheard… on my way to see you. I was coming to tell you that I’m leaving. I thought I owed you that much at least.”

The breath leaves Hux in a shaky exhale, and he defaults back to monosyllabic questions.

“When?”

“Tonight.”

“Why?”

Kylo hesitates, taking a moment to try and work out what Hux is asking - why he’s leaving, or why he came to tell Hux - but finds both vying for position on Hux’s tongue.

“This is no longer the right path for me,” he states simply. “And as commander of the _Finalizer_ \--”

Hux gives a humourless, disturbing burst of laughter, stopping Kylo short. The two men remain silent for several seconds, regarding each other closely.

“Where will you go?” Hux finally asks, his gaze shifting away from Kylo’s face as he does. “To the Resistance?”

It’s supposed to be a snide remark, but is lacking. The attempted jab glances off of Kylo, barely felt.

“It’s not clear to me yet. I simply know that this is no longer the path I should follow.”

Hux falls silent, perhaps unsettled by receiving a civil answer.

“You intend to simply disappear?” he eventually asks.

“It’s not impossible,” Kylo points out.

They fall silent again, Kylo aware of something weighing heavily on Hux’s mind that Hux is unable to ask. He waits for several minutes, hoping the other man will find the strength to give it voice, and to face up to all it means, but finds his heart sinking.

“Hux?”

Hux sways lightly on the spot, his gaze distant.

“I always hated you.”

Kylo smirks fondly. “The feeling was mutual.”

Hux looks directly at him then, his eyes piercing in their clarity. Something catches in Kylo’s chest as something unspoken and unnameable passes between them - an understanding Kylo can’t yet comprehend. It feels alarmingly like a goodbye.

Hux takes a step closer, crowding Kylo’s personal space, and Kylo doesn’t even think to step back - not even when Hux tugs off one of his own gloves and lifts his slender fingers to Kylo’s cheek, gently stroking tender skin and catching the angry scar. Kylo’s breath catches, falling from his lips in a rush as his eyes fall closed and he focuses on the gentle touch Hux finally gives, now, at the very end.

 

* * *

 

Kylo is somehow real beneath his touch. His skin is warm and soft, and as Hux’s fingers graze over a smooth cheek and catch on the jagged, angry scar, he can _feel_ the other man: the warmth beneath his fingers, the soft gusts of air that fall from his lips ghost sweetly over Hux’s skin, the steady rise and fall of his chest in the negligible space between them, and his oddly comforting presence. He can see the way Kylo’s dark lashes graze against his pale cheeks, body held in stillness but not tension as he allows Hux to touch him.

And the way he smells. It’s a warm, oddly metallic scent, laced with lingering traces of whatever shampoo Kylo uses and something unmistakably Kylo. Hux can’t help gravitating towards it, unthinkingly closing the distance between them and burying his face in the crook of Kylo’s neck, the hand shifting from Kylo’s cheek to push into the soft loose curls of his hair, loosely grasping at it. For a moment all Hux can do is hold himself there, surrounded by Kylo’s presence and losing himself in it; giving in to the only thing in his life that still feels real.

He doesn’t quite know how to let go. He can feel the darkness all around him, waiting to close in and devour him, and is afraid to move away. For a moment if feels that as long as he has Kylo, he is safe; grounded. He no longer has the strength to put such a thought in its proper place. He no longer has the strength to do anything other than all but cling to the only thing he feels he has left.

Hux’s chest trembles as he feebly attempts to laugh at the irony of the situation. The one person he always hated and never wanted is now the only person in the world that feels constant and real to him. He doesn’t want to let go. He wishes he could keep this - keep Kylo.

The galaxy doesn’t work like that, though, and despite the arm reaching up to hold him in return, Hux knows this isn’t forever. He’s aware of the fact that he’s standing at the edge of a precipice, and nothing but darkness awaits him after this.

This is perhaps one of the last things he will ever experience of his own volition.

Pulling slowly away from Kylo’s neck, Hux regards the other man carefully, afraid of the ridicule he expects to find there. Kylo’s expression is calm, though, even if downcast. He considers Hux with none of the fury and anger that always defined their encounters, and for so long was the hallmark of every interaction between them. For a time after the destruction of Starkiller Base Hux wondered if he was simply too exhausted to maintain the level of hatred he harboured for the other man, but has come to realise that it simply isn’t there anymore. Like everything else in his life, it has fallen away, and all that’s left is one man simply regarding another, wondering what comes next.

It occurs to him that the decision could be his. He can do whatever he wants with in moment and it won’t matter - he certainly has nothing left to lose. What does it matter if he tightens his grip in Kylo’s hair, feeling the softness of it between his fingers, or leans his weight just that little more against the slightly larger man, relishing the warmth he feels radiating from him? What does it matter if he tilts his jaw and gently parts his lips in askance, eyelids already falling closed as he pleads for acceptance? What does any of it matter, when in a few short hours it will all be over, and everything Hux had ever known or held dear or hoped for will be forever beyond his reach?

He gives a startled, pathetic noise when he finds a mouth closing firmly over his, air from Kylo’s nose gusting over his cheek and a strong hand gripping at his arm. There’s no template for this. Before, everything was fuelled by fury and hatred, each touch fierce and unrelenting, but this is new and unfamiliar. It feels almost tender: a farewell to something Hux never knew he could have, and, until now, didn’t even know he wanted.

His hands trace over Kylo’s form, learning the shape of him as Kylo deepens the kiss and then pulls back a little, allowing Hux to take control. It feels, irrationally, as if Kylo is making an offering of himself, but Hux is too swept up in the idea of it to point out all the reasons that that isn’t the case. It’s simply comfort, of a sort: comfort Hux allows himself to have. Pressing more insistently at Kylo, they move towards the edge of the room, meeting the wall with a gentle bump rather than a more usual crushing blow, and Hux’s still-gloved hand reaches for the hem of Kylo’s clothing.

A hand stops him, firmly, and Hux breaks away from the kiss, confused and, alarmingly, stinging with disappointment.

“Not here,” Kylo states.

“Wh--?”

He falls silent as Kylo’s hand loosens its grip, gently slipping lower until his fingers are entwined with Hux’s, the soft leather of their gloves creaking faintly. A jolt tears through him as Kylo gently tugs, starting to lead Hux.

“Come.”

Silently, Hux follows, his heart hammering wildly in his chest. He feels almost dazed as he’s led to Kylo’s bedroom - a room he never thought he’d see and didn’t have the desire to until this moment. He quickly takes in the rather sparse personal effects, and the presence that is unmistakably Kylo, before his attention is on the man himself. Kylo turns to him, a hand raising to cup Hux’s cheek.

“Is this okay?”

Mutely, Hux nods, not sure how to form words. He carefully twists his fingers free of Kylo’s grasp and gently steers the hand from his face, bringing it to rest at Kylo’s side. Then, eyes downcast as he removes his remaining glove, Hux reaches out for the layers covering Kylo.

Kylo doesn’t protest as Hux steadily works each garment free, slowly exposing inch after inch of skin he’d never taken the time to consider before, never mind appreciate. As more of Kylo is revealed to him, Hux feels himself flushing, and a growing desire to run his hands and lips over every inch quickens within him, causing his fingers to tremble as he works the fastening on Kylo’s pants loose. Despite being familiar with this part of him, Hux blushes even more as Kylo’s heavy cock springs free, jutting invitingly into the space between them. As he has done with nearly every other part of Kylo’s body, Hux refrains from touching, and focuses of working the last of Kylo’s clothes from the man. With some help, Kylo soon stands, completely naked before him. Hux, eyes lowered to the inviting lines of Kylo’s pectorals, reaches up and splays his hand against Kylo’s shoulder, pushing firmly until Kylo gets the message and sinks to the bed. He can feel the intense gaze on him, and it warms his cheeks even further as he tries to find his tongue.

“Don’t move,” Hux commands. He notices the way Kylo’s now bare hands twitch, but the order is obeyed. Carefully, Hux lifts his eyes to meet Kylo’s, afraid to find ridicule there. Instead, mercifully, there is only curiosity and warmth. Kylo is leaning forward, breathing quickly as he watches to see what Hux will do. Hux isn’t entirely sure himself, and as his fingers move to the collar of his uniform jacket, he feels startled by his own boldness as he slowly starts to undress.

He doesn’t feel bold. He feels faintly ridiculous, and rather pathetic. He’s afraid that Kylo will laugh at him, or sneer when he finds Hux more than lacking, which Hux knows he is. He’s lost everything else, and without his uniform he’s little more than a pale, faded shadow of a man, who never commanded much physical strength anyway. Compared to Kylo… There is no comparison. Hux knows it. And he struggles not to burn up as he shakily lets his jacket slide from his arms and to the floor, revealing the thin undershirt he wears which hangs loosely from his frame.

His chest rises and falls quickly, pulse almost deafening in his ears, and it takes everything he has to meet Kylo’s gaze again.

For a moment, Hux’s heart stops as he takes in Kylo’s expression. He struggles to process what he’s seeing, sure he must be misinterpreting the look of hunger written all over Kylo’s face, and telegraphed in the way he leans forward, the hands gripping at his own thighs digging in. There’s no way…

Hux’s gaze flickers down for a moment as, with shyness he’s never experienced because he’s never been in such a position before, he grasps the hem of his undershirt. When he glances back up at Kylo, he’s rewarded with a look of barely restrained hunger, Kylo’s muscles and tendons knotted with tension as he clearly tries to resist surging towards Hux. His lips are parted, and he looks very much as if he wants to say - or do - something. It makes Hux give a sigh of relief, a ghost of a smile lingering on his lips for the briefest of moments as he pulls the garment off, carelessly letting it fall to the floor.

Next, rationally, would come his boots, but Hux isn’t sure he could manage the task of tugging them off without losing his balance, so instead slowly caresses the smooth fabric of his breeches, stroking over his thighs and watching in amazement as Kylo’s rapt attention follows. As his fingers push into the bottom of the crease of his fly, following the fastening to the top where he might undo it, Hux sees Kylo swallow thickly, and a low sound, akin to a growl, comes from his throat. It makes Hux pause, breathless again as he’s caught in the intensity of Kylo’s desire.

Bolder now, Hux deliberately flicks open the fastening at the top and halfway undoes his fly, before stepping forward between Kylo’s parted thighs. One hand alights on Kylo’s head, fingers gently stroking his hair as the other man understand the permission being given and leans forwards. Hux tenses for a moment as surprisingly soft lips press against the sensitive skin of his lower stomach, tickling him just above his waistband, but he relaxes into it, relishing the way Kylo’s hands come up to eagerly grasp at his hips, fingers kneading the soft flesh for a moment before turning their attention to what remains of Hux’s uniform.The fabric is pulled away more gently than Hux expected to his thighs, exposing his own half-hard cock, but it takes several moments for Kylo to work his mouth lower. He leaves several wet kisses in his wake, tongue pressing against each spot before he lightly sucks sensitive flesh Hux never thought to explore himself. It makes him itch to push Kylo down and return the treatment.

His cock, quickly swelling, scrapes against the underside of Kylo’s jaw, and Hux’s eyes fall closed as he surrenders to Kylo’s attention. When lips finally close around his cock, all the promises of a talented mouth given in the way Kylo kissed and lavished attention on other parts of him are fulfilled, and Hux inhales sharply, his fingers tightening in Kylo’s hair. He loosens his grip quickly, instead showing his appreciation with gentle touches and caresses, feeling Kylo moving, and biting his lip as he fights to hold back the noises threatening to escape. It’s too much, too soon, but he doesn’t know how to pull away from something so wonderful, and finds his hips moving of their own volition, pressing closer to Kylo, who eagerly accommodates him. For several moments he surrenders to the feeling of it, finding a choked noise escaping him when he opens his eyes and looks down, catching sight of the other man. There’s a strange beauty to him - something uniquely Kylo - which Hux is startled to discover, and he wonders how he missed it: perhaps because Kylo has never before parted his lips and taken Hux in his mouth like this.

Fingers still gentle in Kylo’s hair, Hux encourages Kylo to stop and moves back a fraction. He immediately misses the warmth of Kylo’s mouth as his skin is exposed to the cool air, but hides his discomfort as he lets his gaze slide over Kylo’s body, noting the paleness of his skin, the strong muscles beneath, and his unmistakeable state of arousal. His cock is still hard and heavy, despite neglect, and Hux holds back a shiver as he considers just how much he wants to reach out and touch it.

He swallows, finding his tongue. “Lie back.”

Kylo looks up at him, clearly hesitant. Rather than obeying, his fingers cascade down over the rumpled fabric of Hux’s breeches, lightly resting against the back of Hux’s knees, just above his boots. His expression turns to one of questioning, seeking permission.

“Let me take these off you first?”

Kylo gently tugs at his calf, and Hux finds himself shifting his weight, his hand reaching out to Kylo’s shoulder to help himself balance as he does as bid. With firm movements, Kylo works one boot from his foot, then the other, before his attention turns to what remains of Hux’s clothing. Piece by piece it’s stripped from him, and Hux leans on Kylo for support, his fingers flexing against a well-muscled shoulder as he holds himself upright. He feels himself flushing again when, now naked, Kylo retains his hold on the knee Hux bent to allow his briefs to be removed and gently kisses the inside of his thigh. Hux knows that Kylo’s mouth could be, and has been, far more intimate places, but something about the tenderness and reverence of the action startles him and sets his heart racing. He struggles to find words again as he looks down and sees the way Kylo gazes up at him from beneath dark lashes, nothing but adoration evident in his expression.

“Lie back.”

This time, Hux’s voice is barely more than a whisper, and he is mostly glad when Kylo obeys. In part, he has no idea what to do with the inviting body stretching out before him, but as his gaze flickers over Kylo’s form and he steps right up to the bed, fingertips grazing over Kylo’s ankle, he knows he has to start somewhere.

For a moment Kylo tenses, ticklish as Hux lightly caresses the inside of his calf, and then he relaxes, accepting the touch. Hux lets his fingers trace upwards lightly, feeling the warmth of Kylo’s skin and the surprising softness beneath his idly wandering hand as he considers what to do. After a moment, he carefully crawls onto the foot of the bed, folding himself delicately so he can press his lips to the inside of Kylo’s ankle, and then higher, to his calf, his knee, the inside of his thigh...

Slowly, Hux works his way up, hands caressing and lips revering the body beneath him. He unfurls, stretching out as he makes his way higher, trailing soft kisses over every inch of skin indiscriminately, tongue occasionally flickering out to taste, and to tease, exploring the contrast between soft skin and scar tissue that litters Kylo’s body. Kylo almost seems more sensitive to touch on his neck than he is to it anywhere else, and by the time Hux kisses him there, body held just above Kylo’s, the man has become increasingly responsive. He shudders and gasps beneath Hux’s attention, hands tightening in the bedsheets at his sides. Hux wishes those hands were elsewhere - perhaps stroking through his hair - and after a moment spent gently biting and sucking at a spot on Kylo’s neck that makes the other man arch and almost writhe beneath him, Hux kisses just behind Kylo’s ear.

“You can touch me,” he reminds him with a soft whisper, desperately hoping Kylo wants to.

Kylo does. His hands are instantly on Hux, wrapping around his slim waist and stroking up his sides until strong fingers push into Hux’s hair, making him sigh in contentment. A few scattered kisses across Kylo’s face are all it takes before Hux is kissing the other man, feeling, irrationally, as if he’s been starved of this. He kisses Kylo deeply, letting his body press down and grind against Kylo, whose legs part to wrap around Hux, holding him there. Almost perfectly aligned, Hux’s cock is trapped between their bodies, and against Kylo’s, which feels hot and wonderfully firm where it presses against him. He’s tempted to pull his hands away from where they’re buried in Kylo’s hair just to touch, but settles for feeling, taking his time to try and process as much detail as he can about every place their bodies touch.

There’s so much in his life Hux denied himself, or was denied, and he hates that this was one of those things. For a moment he imagines that this is something he can have, and keep, and as he responds to Kylo’s moan, feeling it resonate deep within his chest, with a sigh of his own and a slow, grinding shift of his hips, he forgets that all he can have is the memory of it. He forgets that soon this will be gone forever.

The leg wrapped around his tightens as Kylo thrusts up as best he can, giving a small whimper. Hux shifts away from the kiss, refocusing on Kylo’s neck with the intention of teasing more sounds from the man, and his eyes fall closed as he feels just how desperately Kylo tries to hold them together, at the same time tilting his head so his neck is angled just so. Hux is tempted to bite down, to leave a mark, and gently nips the clearly sensitive skin. He’s rewarded by a gasp and a shudder he feels against every inch of his body, and he kisses the spot, satisfied, before pulling back.

When he looks down at Kylo, Hux is struck by a strange feeling echoing in his chest. He can’t quite name or understand it, but it feels like he’s seeing Kylo for the first time. He knows, rationally, that nothing has changed, but he notices things that seemed unimportant before, and which he can't find words for: the softness of Kylo's eyes, the warmth of his gaze, the inviting lines of his jaw, the promise of his softly parted lips, and the angry scar Hux wants to trace his fingers over and kiss until he's managed to soothe away all the hurt lingering there - for both of them. It hurts to see Kylo's wounds. Of all the injuries - old and new - littering Kylo’s body, this is the one Hux wants to ease the burden of the most.

He holds himself still, though, partly knowing what he wants but mostly afraid to ask. The question gets confused with another, which bubbles up inside him, threatening to tumble from his lips should he part them. When Kylo’s hand reaches up, the backs of his fingers caressing Hux’s cheek, he leans into the touch with a grateful sigh, welcoming the warm palm that cups his face, thumb stroking over his cheekbone.

“Hux?”

Hux doesn’t realise he’d closed his eyes, and opens them again as he gives a low murmur, acknowledging his name.

“Fuck me?”

Hux closes his eyes again, tightly, nodding as he tries to hold himself together in the wake of Kylo’s soft-spoken request. Gratitude rises within him, as well as something he cannot name, and he seeks solace against Kylo’s body, pressing his lips to Kylo’s neck so that the other man won’t be able to read him. It occurs to Hux that perhaps Kylo can read him anyway, and he trembles at the thought, feeling newly vulnerable. The arms around him do not waver, though, and he likes to imagine that when Kylo sighs and touches a hand lightly to the back of Hux’s head, it’s in acceptance.

When Kylo shifts again, it’s with clear intent. Hux pulls away, sitting back to allow Kylo to sit up a little too and lean towards the bedside table. He pushes his hands through his dark hair, disturbing it in a way Hux longs to do, before reaching out and tugging the drawer open. After a moment of searching he pulls back, a bottle of lubricant in his hand.

Something twists in Hux’s gut as he notices it’s less than half full, and his heart falls as he imagines someone else being here, seeing Kylo like this. He barely remembers how to close his fingers when the bottle is pressed firmly into his hand, and he realises that Kylo is looking intently up at him, gaze warm. Fingers close around his own, and Hux searches for the laughter he expects to find when he’s certain that Kylo has understood what is playing on his mind. It isn’t there though. A light kiss is pressed to his lips, not landing entirely as Hux is sure Kylo intended it to, but the look Kylo gives him as he pulls away fills Hux with a warmth that makes his body thrum.

“There was only ever you.”

Hux loses himself to the feelings washing over him, reclaiming Kylo’s lips in a rush and forcing them both back down. He drops the lubricant, too intent on burying his hands in Kylo’s hair to worry about where it falls. Kylo has to push it away from under his shoulder where it digs in, but Hux barely notices, his breath coming in snatches between kissing and breaking away to gasp at the feeling of their bodies moving almost desperately together. He can’t tell if the smear of wetness against his stomach is his own precome or Kylo’s, and settles for the dizzying thought of it belonging to them both as he latches onto Kylo’s neck, making the other man cry out when he bites down. His tongue soothes over the spot and he gives a low murmur as he nuzzles against Kylo for a moment, shifting to kiss him again as one hand reaches out blindly for the bottle he’d dropped. Once again, Kylo presses it into his hand, and as he kisses Kylo, Hux fumbles with the cap, working it open. It takes a moment for the liquid to slide out, spilling cooly onto Hux’s fingers. He just hopes that when he drops the bottle none leaks out.

It feels like sacrilege to neglect Kylo’s cock, but Hux’s hand moves lower, almost directly to where it needs to be, and he presses his fingers wetly against Kylo’s perineum, moving back little by little until he’s circling the tight ring of muscles that twitch temptingly beneath his touch. He doesn’t press in immediately, though, and waits until Kylo is gasping into the kiss, trying to shift down and take Hux’s fingers within him before he increases the pressure and, with painstaking slowness, pushes in.

Kylo’s breath hitches, the kiss breaking completely as he arches beneath Hux, trembling at the slightest intrusion. He clearly welcomes it and aches for more, trying to grind down, but Hux pulls out, shifting and sliding off of Kylo. He settles beside the other man, on his side, before slowly continuing. His eyes never leave Kylo’s face, and he drinks in every shift he sees there and every soft noise Kylo makes as Hux pushes his finger slowly back in, starting to leisurely fuck Kylo, who is so wonderfully tight and hot around him Hux’s cock twitches in interest.

Far sooner than he’d like, Hux adds a second finger. If he had forever, Hux would spend it doing this - slowly teasing Kylo open - but he has nowhere near as long as he’d like. A sense of urgency grips him, the pressure of the darkness that’s been haunting him threatens to close in, but Kylo shifts and cries out softly at exactly the same moment, mercifully distracting Hux from his rising fears. Hux leans in, kissing the corner of Kylo’s mouth in silent thanks as he crooks his fingers, seeking. When he finds the sensitive bundle of nerves, he’s rewarded by Kylo moaning loudly and writhing against the bedsheets, precum leaking from his cock. Kylo’s hand reaches out at an awkward angle, grasping for Hux who is more than glad to be touched, and he kisses Kylo again before looking around for the lubricant and quickly adding more. A third finger makes a clear difference: Kylo gives low, almost continual moans, his skin flushing even more and eyes fluttering closed each time Hux grazes against his prostate. His cock looks painfully hard, red and begging in the way it twitches and weeps against his skin, and Hux longs to soothe it with his tongue. Kylo is so tightly wound by his attention that Hux half wonders if it would be too much, and if the touch of his mouth to Kylo’s cock might bring the other man to completion.

It’s cruel that he has to choose between the two: Kylo’s release in his mouth, or between their bodies as Hux fucks him to completion. His own cock is just as neglected, though, and with one more wistful glance at Kylo’s cock, Hux withdraws his fingers and reaches for what remains of the lubricant.

There’s a little more than enough left. Hux is generous in applying the cool gel to his cock, and bites back a hiss at the feel of it - of any contact, really. He knows he doesn’t need to use much at all, but coats his length in the slick stuff anyway, keeping his touch carefully light and unfulfilling. His cock twitches again at the thought of just how prepared Kylo is; just how willing. Strong hands are grasping at his body, drawing him into place, and Kylo is showering distracting, light kisses over every part of Hux’s skin he can reach. Hux angles his head and kisses Kylo firmly as he settles into place, an elbow beside Kylo’s head helping to prop him up while his hand guides him to Kylo’s entrance.

As he presses in, the world around him disappears. Hux can’t help gasping, caught by the intensity and _rightness_ of it as he surrenders to what Kylo can truly make him feel. The sensation of fitting so perfectly with someone threatens to overwhelm him, and he can’t work out if the way Kylo shifts and moans beneath him, hands running over Hux’s body and tugging at him encouragingly, helps or not. By the time he’s pushed all the way in, Hux is trembling slightly, his fingers pressing urgently into Kylo’s skin as he tries to draw him even closer and keep what he’s experiencing from slipping away. He feels exposed, every part of him opened up in a way that’s breathtaking. Every action between them before was constrained and closely guarded, with no finesse or intimacy, but now that his defenses have been worn away and abandoned, Hux somehow feels like he belongs. There is a space - at Kylo’s side, in his bed and in his life - where Hux feels like he fits perfectly. The touches they share feel right, arms fitting perfectly around each other, and every shift and sigh echoes through both their bodies until Hux isn’t sure where it even began. As he rocks slowly into Kylo without pulling out, Hux presses his lips to the corner of Kylo’s mouth, careful not to smother the deep moans that spill from the other man’s chest.

Kylo turns to kiss him though, and for several moments Hux forgets to breathe. Gentle fingers tease through his hair, and Hux returns the action as he struggles to process the overwhelming feeling of Kylo tightening around his cock and shifting subtly against him. When he rocks into Kylo again, changing the angle of his hips, the kiss breaks as Kylo cries out, the sound broken and sweet around them. Hux does it again, kissing Kylo’s cheek and then his neck as Kylo fills the air with a litany of sounds that, somehow, draw Hux even closer, even though there’s nowhere for him to go. Their limbs are already entwined, bodies flush and offering friction to Kylo whose cock is hard and weeping between them. Hux’s mouth plays against Kylo’s neck, and he bites down, sucking and teasing at the vivid pulse beneath his lips. When he breaks away, something stirs in him at the sight of the mark he’s just made, and he longs to do it again and again, until he’s sure it will never fade.

His fingers caress the mark as Hux kisses Kylo again, his skin starting to prickle with sweat at the effort of maintaining the slow, steady pace. Already Hux can feel his body building towards release, and if he set a quicker pace he knows he would quickly reach completion. He doesn’t do that, though. He draws it out, each shift and slide not quite enough to push him closer, but enough to tease them both with the promise of it. Kylo still tugs at him, but he doesn’t encourage Hux to move faster.

Nearly every slow slide and grind of his hips now causes Hux’s cock to tease over Kylo’s prostate, and he pulls his head back just enough to gaze down and take in the sight of Kylo slowly falling apart. His fingers stroke dark, damp hair away from Kylo’s brow as he watches the other man come undone beneath him, light kisses being pressed to Kylo’s closed eyelids and cheeks as Kylo whimpers and tries to move against Hux, trying to take him deeper. Hux gives a low murmur, complying, and feels the tell-tale way Kylo’s body tenses.

He shifts one hand lower, grazing over Kylo’s side as he makes space to reach between them. Kylo snatches at his hand though, stopping him, and Hux struggles not to still as he worries about what prompted such a sharp action. He’s bemused, until Kylo laces their fingers together, holding Hux’s hand tightly. Hux gives a sigh that quickly turns into a moan when Kylo tenses beneath him, clearly about to come.

The first pulse of it is warm and wet between them, easing the friction, but it’s the cry Kylo utters that catches Hux’s breath, stilling his heart when his own name tumbles from the other man’s lips. He kisses Kylo, in answer and in desperation, as he finds himself drawn up into that perfect moment before his own release comes, pushed to the edge by the rhythmic surge of Kylo’s completion and the way Kylo moans and trembles beneath him. He’s caught by the force of his own orgasm, left breathless and gasping what he realises is Kylo’s name as he spills into the other man, clinging tightly to him and moaning as every ounce of pleasure is wrung from him. He collapses entirely against Kylo’s damp, come-smeared chest, fighting to draw breath as the last of his release leaves him in a trembling shudder, Kylo still twitching around his cock and moaning softly beneath him. Hands are in his hair, and Hux is aware of the fact that him he should do the same to Kylo, but for a moment he’s too absent from himself - too sated - to move.

When he does finally gather himself, Hux feels the cool air around them, prickling his skin, and the wetness between them, where their bodies are still joined. His fingers push into Kylo’s damp hair, and Hux kisses him lazily, enjoying the feeling of Kylo’s heartbeat against his own. He can feel everything - every lingering twitch of Kylo’s muscles, the rise and fall of his chest, and the breath against his cheek when Kylo sighs into the kiss - and he knows Kylo can feel him too. It isn’t even frightening, just strangely comforting.

They both make a noise of displeasure when Hux slips from Kylo, the kiss breaking as they rearrange themselves. Kylo struggles tiredly with the covers as they shift to their sides, Hux insistently pressing against him, refusing to lose the warmth he’s found. With the cover draped over them, Hux works his arms tightly around Kylo, holding him close with no regard for the mess on their skin. They’re both silent, lost in the lingering bliss and allowing their breathing to slowly even out and heart rates to settle. Hux finds his fingers in Kylo’s hair again, the feeling of it soothing him as much as it seems to soothe Kylo, who sighs and wriggles to try and get impossibly closer. Hux’s mind is too happily tired to process much, or to protest when he feels something intangible deliberately and carefully being passed from Kylo’s awareness to Hux’s. Hux gives a small smile, pressing against Kylo in reassurance, and then kisses the man, simply because he wants to, and can. Kylo clearly enjoys it.

The lingering smile starts to fade, though. Awareness of the world around them creeps coldly back in, despite the blanket of Kylo’s warmth, which has afforded him sanctuary him for a while. Hux can feel reality pressing against him, drawing him away from the safe haven he’d found in Kylo’s arms, and he closes his eyes in displeasure, wanting but not knowing how to fight against it.

As if he can sense it and is fighting it too, Kylo starts gently stroking Hux’s hair, pressing a tender kiss to his brow as he makes a soft noise. They hold each other like that for several moments, sharing quiet desperation, before Hux shifts and kisses Kylo gently for what he knows has to be the last time.

It, oddly, hurts. Something in Hux’s chest shifts, a feeling he can’t quite explain welling up and surging through him. The question from earlier comes to the forefront of his mind, and he fights against it, knowing it’s something he can never ask. He can’t keep this. He doesn’t deserve it, and he never had it in the first place anyway.

He could have it, he thinks. The thought comes unbidden, and won’t leave. He can’t quite break the kiss either, or pull back as he knows he should. He doesn’t quite have the strength to force himself, and only breaks away when he has to draw breath. He’s not entirely surprised to find that he’s trembling slightly.

“Hux?”

Kylo gently strokes the side of his face as Hux’s name falls softly from his lips, and before Hux can think how to answer the pleading look Kylo gives him, he’s being kissed again.

The touch is far too light and brief, and when Kylo pulls back, Hux tries to move after him, finding himself unable to help the question that falls from his lips.

“Take me with you?”

Kylo gives a low noise that sounds like relief, his thumb brushing over Hux’s skin as he cups his cheek and kisses him almost roughly, his answer in the desperate, hungry way he kisses. Hux can’t help giving a gasp of surprise, his own question and Kylo’s acceptance echoing in his mind. He can’t quite believed what he asked, or what he is about to do. He knows it’s madness, but pressed against Kylo that darkness seems more distant; less threatening. He feels a flicker of hope, like there is an alternative, and that it could be filled with more of the warmth and careful touches Kylo is allowing him to experience.

Hux wants more of it.

When they break apart Kylo seems more breathless than Hux, and gives a shaky smile, as if he’s not used to wearing the expression. Hux strokes Kylo’s hair, waiting for a verbal answer.

“You’ll really come?”

Hux nods, not questioning what he’s doing too closely. The alternative promises a short, humiliating life that might not even extend beyond sunrise.

“Yes,” he breathes. He feels a pressing awareness of time, and glances down. “I suppose we had better…”

Kylo nods, pressing a fleeting, confident kiss to Hux’s brow. Their interaction has clearly come to an end, but Hux no longer feels reluctant to pull away. He feels a sense of urgency and purpose, and senses that Kylo feels it too.

“You stay here. It’s safer,” Kylo decides, gathering himself and sitting up. Hux does the same, his touch lingering on Kylo’s arm. He watches the man as he speaks, nodding in agreement. It suddenly occurs to him that he might not get a chance to go back to his quarters again, and the thought is a little jarring.

“Make sure you get the black box that’s in my desk,” Hux says, trying to impress upon Kylo the importance of it. “Are they looking for me yet?”

Kylo pauses, tilting his head fractionally as he searches for the answer. His focus returns to Hux as he gives a small shake of his head.

“Not yet, no.”

Hux thinks for a moment about his quarters, and his things.

“Hux?”

Hux shakes his head to rid himself of his thoughts. “It’s okay. You go. Just remember the box, and I guess my toiletries.”

Kylo nods, starting to dress. He uses a corner of a garment to wipe off the drying mess from his stomach and between his thighs, discarding it when he’s done. Hux tries not to think about the state of his own body, but can’t help hoping he’ll find something in the ‘fresher to wipe down a little more thoroughly than Kylo.

He’s wondering if he can afford a quick shower when Kylos bare hand presses down on his shoulder, drawing his attention. Kylo crowds closer, leaning in and letting his lips graze against Hux’s.

“I’ll be quick, I promise,” he says, the words little more than a whisper between them. Kylo’s kiss is firm but far too fleeting, the warmth of it only registering when he’s already pulled away again.

Far too suddenly, Kylo is gone. Hux stands, alone with his thoughts and fears for a moment after Kylo leaves, before heading towards the refresher. He lets the functional task of cleaning himself take over, distracting him from all the thoughts he can’t address right now. Later, when he’s far away, he’ll worry about how it all happened, and perhaps even about what comes next.

For now, he simply cleans and redresses, searching through Kylo’s sparse quarters in an attempt to gather a small pile of things he thinks Kylo might wish to take. There’s not much, and when the door hisses open again, making Hux flinch, he realises he’s refolding a shirt for the second or third time.

Relief washes over him when he sees Kylo, quickly replaced by uneasiness when Kylo marches forward, depositing Hux’s greatcoat and the large bag he carries on the bed, starting to scoop things up and dump them in.

“We need to hurry.”

Hux doesn’t ask why. He just nods, even though the response no doubt goes unseen.

“Anything else I should fetch?” he asks, taking and shrugging on his coat to make it easier to carry.

Kylo shakes his head, closing and then shouldering the bag. With his free hand he reaches out for Hux’s hand. Kylo squeezes it when Hux laces their fingers together.

“I have everything I need.”

Hux squeezes back, that flicker of hope growing even brighter.

“Same. Let’s go.”


End file.
